And so we fought. I mean we really fought. Better go and get your armor, fighting with family is going down. I mean we were trying to get under each other skin. We were angry. We were livid. At that point, all cards were on the table. There was no holding back. Tear flowed. Voices rose. Listening was over, talking to reply had taken full effect.
And in the heat of the moment, it didn’t seem to matter much. All that mattered was getting our points across no mater what the price. We were blinded by anger. Fighting with family can be hard because it’s one thing to say things you can’t take back, its another to do it to someone you really love.
It’s 1 am and mind you we all have to be up in less than an 4 hours, and all this yelling and fighting didn’t help any of us. It bothered me so much, that I can’t sleep. I know the only thing that would help is to just write, and digest whats going on.
I ask my self why? Why do we fight on the front lines when we know we are on the same side? Why is it the simple things that make us snap? The small innocent things? Why must things go nuclear? Why must we be angry with each other? Why did I feel it was okay to say those things? Why do I allow myself to get so angry? Am I too far gone for saving? Why couldn’t I just walk away. What made me want to reply?
These thoughts running through someones mind not are a recipe for a restful night. These questions that I don’t know if I have the answer too. There is no guide on avoiding fighting with family.
So I pray. I pray for forgiveness. I pray for answer and for guidance in handling these struggles, and future situations that might test these things. I pray for my family because we are stressed and running to the hospital everyday trying visit my grandpa isn’t helping that stress, while all of are trying to stay afloat.
I don’t know why we fight with people. I don’t know we get so angry. I wish I had all the answers. But until that day… I will do what I can. I will apologizes and try to learn from this situation. I will do my best to undo the wrongs that I have done. Because I can’t control what other people do, all I can do is control what I do.
I don’t really have a special point like I normally do: All I can say is, always undo evil that has been done.